Sunday, September 19, 2010

To forgive is Divine!


Hmmm...after almost ages I know. But some thoughts cannot be put for public viewing unless it is a general subject that will require public pondering.May be finally I have one today.

The ability to Forgive!

Its rather easy to rehearse the adage: "Forgive and Forget." Is it that easy? Do people really follow? Nah..let me ignore what the public opines, but this is what I feel. May be yes and may be no, depending upon WHAT the mistake is and WHO has done it.

Let me make an honest confession here. I cant forgive anyone that easily. Yeah, I am not a saint. I commit mistakes too.I am not divine either,but I cause lesser harm to most other people than to myself.When I know I have hurt some one it hurts me more than it has ever hurt them. If some one has hurt me and taken me on a forced guilt trip, accusing me of things that I have mostly never said or at times never meant and assumption has embarked their perception ; ridiculed me and made my existence miserable, I will never ever forgive them. Not even forgive myself, for having let them do that to me because of societal reasons of conforming to basic courtesies and for being the younger one.

I heard this from somewhere,"Hurt hurts the person who hurts than the person to whom the hurt is caused."
It is very true. The root cause for all this is that in most personal relationships we expect someone to either do something for us or at the least return the same amount of love that we show to them. Not as a matter of gratitude, but as a matter of humanity. Human need is mostly love when all the other basic needs are fulfilled.

My thoughts seem to abscond when the grey matter is demanded to bombard fair treatment despite the unfair treatment given to me. If not for me who else will stand by me to protect myself from a downtrodden treatment.Here, I don't mean treatment of the physical order or physical self. I mean the words that cause more mental agony and trauma than actions would. Surprisingly, it is hard for people to understand that letting people live their lives and giving personal space and freedom is more important than may be buying a zillion dollar worth diamonds.

Yes, it becomes important under such circumstances that one has to stand up for oneself. May be I have learnt it the hardest way possible that the unlearning of the learning has become increasingly herculean. I have learnt to protect myself. by any means available to my grey matter during climax. I have learnt that if you dont fight for your right, it will never be given to you. Many radicals, I am sure at least the revolutionaries will agree with me.

Sometimes, rather most of the times, unconnected matters intrude onto the scenes of a rather huge discussion-argument-fight, making the matter go from bad to worse. Thats the time of the intervention of the timely silence. Silence for the outer world when there is a Nagasaki explosion from within.The volcano will erupt some day and once it does the damage is unimaginable and the destruction is inevitable.

Who has to be blamed for the volcanic eruption??

I will leave you with that till I can accumulate more matter to brood.

Take care



Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Taming the Turmoil

Taming the turmoil

Akin to the feeling I had in the past time
Rebuilding the shackles of the scattered prime
Inducing a manifested priority that binds the fragments
Into a redundant and fragile union that demands prudence.

The repercussions are unknown and thus the action uncertain.
Agreeing to disagree is impossibility as like-mindedness is diffused.
Deplorable events charge at lightning speed
Destiny of the liaison unknown.

Do I want this? I wonder.
Mingling answers assail my mind.
Over the various genres that feelings bind, I ponder,
What we sow, will we reap the same?

Against the leaping tides I pierce my arm-actions,
And juggle with the ravaging waters to attain my feat.
“To be or not to be”, I feel like Hamlet,
Success is a mystery that continues to remain obscure!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

I caused hurt...

Amidst all the joy, knowledge and smiles I spread all day, i hurt my student today and although it was an unintentional mistake, it has upset me quite a lot. I had never made anyone cry and he did. I know it was not totally my fault, but it has hurt me a lot. I cant imagine i hurt him.
The true culprit never showed up and i gave a big round of blasting session. When the true culprit actually turned himself out, i got quite upset and apologised to him. I apologised and just walked out of the class. I dont know whether its going to change anything in that class, it definitely will to me.
What happened was wrong, and things were just getting out of hand, me being in the position that demanded me to take some action, i gave them some harsh words. No doubt they had to get it. They left me with no choice as despite many warnings they hadn't changed.

When i realised that i had targetted the wrong guy and the actual culprit or the reason for this was happy and laughing, while the innocent one cried, it hurt me to no end. I only could apologise to him and did that more than once and just walked out. Upset with myself and feeling extremely sorry for that boy.

Dear God, if you are there somewhere, please forgive me for what I did. Although unintentional, a mistake is a mistake. I feel deeply sorry for this. Hope i can make up for this. Will tell you if i do.



Thursday, August 20, 2009

Happy Birthday to me!

Yippeee my birthday it is :)

A year lost from our life span, a year closer to death, so why celebrate?? If thats what you think it is...then you are mistaken my dear.

A birthday is a day to celebrate your successful completion of yet another year on this earth! A day to celebrate with your loved ones, for having been around for the past one year and a hope that they will continue to be there for the next years to come! A simple way of showing your gratitude is by giving them all a treat to what ever extent possible!

It is a day you thank God and pamper yourself!! Give yourself a nice treat and make yourself feel reallly good about your own self! Buying new clothes only means novelty should settle in life for another year and bring prosperity and happiness!

Love to the world that has made me what I am today!

Cheers to life!