Hmmm...after almost ages I know. But some thoughts cannot be put for public viewing unless it is a general subject that will require public pondering.May be finally I have one today.
The ability to Forgive!
Its rather easy to rehearse the adage: "Forgive and Forget." Is it that easy? Do people really follow? Nah..let me ignore what the public opines, but this is what I feel. May be yes and may be no, depending upon WHAT the mistake is and WHO has done it.
Let me make an honest confession here. I cant forgive anyone that easily. Yeah, I am not a saint. I commit mistakes too.I am not divine either,but I cause lesser harm to most other people than to myself.When I know I have hurt some one it hurts me more than it has ever hurt them. If some one has hurt me and taken me on a forced guilt trip, accusing me of things that I have mostly never said or at times never meant and assumption has embarked their perception ; ridiculed me and made my existence miserable, I will never ever forgive them. Not even forgive myself, for having let them do that to me because of societal reasons of conforming to basic courtesies and for being the younger one.
I heard this from somewhere,"Hurt hurts the person who hurts than the person to whom the hurt is caused."
It is very true. The root cause for all this is that in most personal relationships we expect someone to either do something for us or at the least return the same amount of love that we show to them. Not as a matter of gratitude, but as a matter of humanity. Human need is mostly love when all the other basic needs are fulfilled.
My thoughts seem to abscond when the grey matter is demanded to bombard fair treatment despite the unfair treatment given to me. If not for me who else will stand by me to protect myself from a downtrodden treatment.Here, I don't mean treatment of the physical order or physical self. I mean the words that cause more mental agony and trauma than actions would. Surprisingly, it is hard for people to understand that letting people live their lives and giving personal space and freedom is more important than may be buying a zillion dollar worth diamonds.
Yes, it becomes important under such circumstances that one has to stand up for oneself. May be I have learnt it the hardest way possible that the unlearning of the learning has become increasingly herculean. I have learnt to protect myself. by any means available to my grey matter during climax. I have learnt that if you dont fight for your right, it will never be given to you. Many radicals, I am sure at least the revolutionaries will agree with me.
Sometimes, rather most of the times, unconnected matters intrude onto the scenes of a rather huge discussion-argument-fight, making the matter go from bad to worse. Thats the time of the intervention of the timely silence. Silence for the outer world when there is a Nagasaki explosion from within.The volcano will erupt some day and once it does the damage is unimaginable and the destruction is inevitable.
Who has to be blamed for the volcanic eruption??
I will leave you with that till I can accumulate more matter to brood.